I hate my husband's big smelly dog, but my hubby adores him. What's a wife to do?

Question

I have NEVER been a dog lover. But, because I love my husband, I agreed to take him and his dog for better or for worse.

We lived together for a year before we got married 9 months ago. Yes, I knew he had that horse he calles a dog (he's a great dane, lab mix), but I figured after a while I'd get used to it. Well, it's been almost 2 years and I'm still not used to it. I can't stand it anymore!

Even though he gets a bath every week, he still has that icky dog smell, he slobbers all over the place (I'm sick of shampooing my carpet every single weekend), his hair is EVERYWHERE...in the laundry, in the kitchen & bathroom (2 places he's not allowed anyway)...you name it. I can't stand walking barefoot or laying on my own carpet cuz i hate smelling funky dog odor.

Whats gonna happend when we have kids cuz Im not letting him around a baby & my kid should be allowed to crawl on the floor.

How do I tell my husband I want to get rid of the dog without hurting him - is it possible?

Answer 1

haha this made me laugh! 'the horse he calls a dog'. well i know i could not part with my cats! but maybe if the time for kids comes, he can be an outdoor dog? i dnt think your hubby would want to part with his animal, ppl get so attached to pets! but then youre his wife. talk to him, but in the end u may need to just endure the slobbery dog cause he came with ur hubby, like a packaged deal :P. but ur too funny! smelly funky dog odor hahaa!

Answer 2

We have 2 dogs (not to mention 2 guinea pigs, and a cat). A lab/boxer/husky mix (she's a shedder), and a schnauzer. It is very possible to have a clean and clean smelling house. Most people don't even know we have dogs until they see them. Some of it starts with your furnace and the filters. Change them more often because hair does get into the ventilation system and then it's blown all over the house (as you already know). You may even want to have your vents swept out which you should do anyway. I vacuum every day, and we brush the lab mix a few times a week to get the loose hair. I think part of the problem is you just hate dogs. Since he is the one that loves him, have him brush him and run the vacuum. On the bright side, as large as this dog is he won't live forever. He is already at least 2, most great danes only live 10 years as an average. Usually the bigger the dog, the shorter the life span. The kids will love this dog if you have any when it's around, even if you don't.

Answer 3

No, I don't think it's possible to tell your husband you want to get rid of the dog without him being hurt.



Really, it should be possible to have a clean non-smelly home AND a dog. Unless you have OCD to some degree and want everything absolutely sterile.



There shouldn't be much smell if he gets bathed once a week. I'd take him to a vet for a check-up, ears, teeth, skin problems etc. can cause smell - too much bathing can also result in a smelly dog, as the frequent shampooing can result in skin problems.



If he's not on it already, feed him high-quality food to minimize smell and shedding, plus chorophyll treats (also minimizes smell). Have your husband take the dog outside for a good brushing down once a day, you can get these small knobbed rubber brushes that are really good for short-haired dogs. If you use a vacuum with disposable bags, put a few anti-odor pellets in the new bag everytime you change them.



Buy several dog blankets and teach the dog only to lie on these, you can then wash them whenever needed and stop shampooing the carpet every weekend.



As for the slobber, there's really nothing to do about that, except to wipe his muzzle here and then. Panting, on the other hand, can be kept to a minimum, by having a nice and cool home and make sure that all wild play happens outside and not in the house.

Answer 4

If you were there first and agreed to the dog then I guess you are stuck with it. Dogs in the home are actually good for kids, kids ina home with some dirt and fluff are less likely to have allergies. I'm amazed that knowing how house proud you sound you agreed to this dog in the first place (regardless of if you were married or not) but as you did you need to deal with it. Try bathing the dog LESS - bathing a dog a lot will make it lose it's natural oils so it will scratch and shed more. Try a dog spray that has a scent and an odor remover - there are several on the market. Clean the dogs bed regularly.



Make some firm rules about where the dog can and cannot go - have a room that is 'dog free' and ensure you stick to that. Consider wood floors rather than carpet.



I think that you'd have a VERY undersatnding husband if he got rid of the dog when you knew he had it when you married and in fact that you were around when he got the dog but let him get it with no grumbles.

Answer 5

Hate is a strong word and I hope u don't do something that may affect your marriage. You have a big job on you, people that doesn't like dogs and your spouse has one, it will be hard for him to get rid of. The comment about having your husband clean up after the dog, I don't know what kind of man you have, But that probably will never happen, the only thing I can say is to sit down with your husband and try to work some kind of arrangement other then getting rid of the dog, a dog can be allot of work especially that big. I don't know where u live but if it's hot u have to make sure the dog has shelter, water all the time, just sit and talk not arguing about it and maybe your husband will work with u, if that u on the icon not to many sisters like dogs, if he got the dog after u was married he should have talked about it before he brought the dog home, I know this is long but u have a big problem, I hope u don't live in a apartment then putting the dog outside is impossible. Good luck.

Answer 6

Ok, let's try this from another aspect. Realizing that not everyone is truly "a dog's person" let's look at the problems. The dog is shedding, smelly, and drooling. Ok, the first two problems can be solved by using a product by Absorbine called "Miracle Groom" and the stuff is amazing. The doggy smell is gone and if you follow the directions given to me by the dealer in two weeks your dog hair and dog smell problems are gone. (For 4 days straight spray the dog down with Miracle Groom and towel dry, brush the dog until no loose hair remains, then do that once a week for 8 weeks, then go to doing that once every other week from then on. Voila - very little shedding) You might also consider changing his food, aside from the healthier nutrition, they eat less of it, they are in better health (really cuts back on the doggy smell issues), less vet bills, and the list goes on. Has the dog been checked by a vet lately? It could be a skin issue that is causing the pup to stink.



Drooling is a bit tricker but can also be handled. Is he mainly drooling when he is excited or or after he drinks? If it is when he drinks you can move his water dish and give him a limited amount of water at a time and take a towel and run it under his mouth to avoid drips.



Why would you not let him around a baby? Doctors now recommend that pets and children be kept together to avoid allergies later in life. All of my dogs come and "tattle" if my grown teens get cookies out of the cookie jar - as a parent and a sometimes babysitter for others a few more sets of eyes can be heavenly! Not to mention with the kidnappings and everything else going on, when your child is out playing in the yard not too many people want to mess with a child with a large Dane-mix (aka house pony) nearby. :D



I seriously recommend you try all the options first before telling your soulmate that his four-footed best friend has to go. I have previously had men in my life try the ultimatium before... did I mention they were previous?



I have three dogs, two black Danes and a Samoyed (The Samoyed is a long-haired white furball of a beastie ) I only have shedding in the spring, the only time I have drool issues is when we have pizza delivered. I have black leather couches, hardwood floors, and white rugs - it honestly can be done.

Answer 7

Do you really want to break your husbands heart, cause hard feelings that you're trying to make him choose, and take a good chance this dog will be PTS just because you don't like a little hair and slobber? It's unfortunate that you didn't warm up to him. Most dogs that are surrendered have a very low chance of making it out of the shelter alive. And for an adult, giant mixed dog, it's way less chance than average.



So, how to make this work? There are some good suggestions above. You should let hubby know how unhappy you are with the current situation (without yelling or making him defensive). And try to figure out a plan that both of you can live with.



Hardwood/ Pergo floors are a good idea. Even a nice linoleum in some areas of the house. Throw rugs can be easily cleaned and it will cut the smell from the dander in the carpet considerably. My finished basement was gross from the previous owner's dog until I ripped up the carpet and put down linoleum (it looks like wood floors). You can tell it's not real wood, but it looks nicer than bare concrete, and the basement is usable again. I've got 4 dogs (3 large), and you'd never know it by walking thru.



My upstairs is carpeted, and even though my dogs and house are clean, you can detect a slight doggie smell in the living room. It doesn't bother me (b/c one or more of them is usually lying on or next to me when I'm there) but not everyone wants that.



Get some baby gates to keep him out of the areas you don't want him in (although this will not stop loose hair from floating in).



I would also reccommend some serious training for this dog. Get several washable dog beds and train him that that's where he's got to relax. You can throw the removable covers in the washer as often as you like.



For the drool, most likely it's only if he's hot, stressed, or just had a big drink, right? So keep the house fairly cool with AC or a fan, and try to relax around him. If you don't like him, it's impossible for him to not know. And you're part of his pack, in fact you should be up towards the top of the pack structure. If he wants to love you, and you always push him away or yell at him, that's a big stress for a dog. So, more drool. Try to see his good points. He'll be a huge deterrant to someone breaking into your home to rob you, or hurt you or your baby. As far as drinking, put a few small area rugs around his water dish. So even if he steps away, they soak up the excess and again, wash as needed.



Danes and labs are goofy, excellent dogs (I've got both). Both of mine love children. I think you'd be doing your future child a disservice by not allowing her to learn to love a dog. And it's true that children in households with pets often have less allergies than children without pets.



I think if you do the things here, and really make an effort, you'll all be much happier. Giving him up isn't the only, or the best answer.

Answer 8

I think you are wrong in this situation. Keeping the dog is something that should have been resolved "before" you moved in and got married. You want to change the dynamics of your family and it may cause a problem.



And yes, your husband probably does consider his dog as part of the family. As many of us dog lovers think you should.



1. Great Danes and Labs are loving breeds and no matter what type of dog you have -- you should never leave children unattended in the presence of them. Kids can be rough and animals sometimes see little kids as threatening.



2. Shedding - the only thing you can do for breeds that shed is bathe, brush daily, and vacuum frequently. There are also homeopathic supplements to help lessen the amount of shedding. Halo.com sells a oil (EFA) supplement that helps condition the skin, etc. which gets put in their food.



3. The dog smell may be his breath (which you need to brush dogs teeth daily with toothpaste made for dogs), and/or internal odor which they have pills to lessen internally. The Furmarator tool may help pull the dead hairs out.



4. Hopefully your husband is picking up dog poop daily from the yard because Great Danes can leave heavy loads. If you aren't feeding him premium food, then consider one like INNOVA because it cuts down on the amount of stool a dog passes.



Good luck and I hope you can figure out a way to keep the dog and have the house kept close to the way you want it. Remember marriage is about unconditional love and compromise -- you don't always have to be right.

Answer 9

You need to sit down and write out a list of what you like most about your husband and why you married him.



Then you need to discuss with him the fact that you didn't honestly tell him when he got his dog that you don't like dogs. You apparently didn't warn your husband that you weren't sure you could handle life with a dog, especially a big dog that sheds.



If you want to keep your marriage together, then you need to discuss this problem fully and find a compromise. Telling your husband to get rid of the dog would be like telling him you are going to get rid of one of your children because it makes too much mess and that bothers you.



One possible compromise would be to fence your yard and make him mostly an outside dog.



You also need to look inside and learn why you don't tolerate any kind of mess in your home. You'll also have problems if you have children, as they tend to mess more than the dog! And they don't appreciate you and give you the unconditional love that a dog does. So you will have similar problems with having children.



You can talk to your vet about the "dog" odor. You don't like dogs, so the odor might be in your mind. You need the vet (an impartial third party) to check the dog and see if he really has a doggie smell. AND... you can talk to a groomer about how to abate the odor. I'm sure there are things that can be done.



On the dog hair, every time your husband pets the dog, hairs stick to him and so he takes the dog's hair with him and the hairs drop off in places the dog doesn't even visit.



I hope you can find a compromise that you both can be comfortable with. It would be cruel to force him to get rid of the dog. And you need to relax some on your need for perfection in your home, I suspect. -!-

Answer 10

If your husband really adores the dog, then it is not possible for you to tell him you want him to get rid of the dog without hurting him. You said it yourself...you "agreed to take him AND his dog for better or for worse."



If you were together before he got the dog, then the fact that you dislike dogs so much really should have been brought up THEN...not two years after the fact. You need to sit your hubby down now and discuss what you can do together to compromise. Perhaps replacing some of the carpeting with laminate floor. Hard flooring surfaces are MUCH cleaner and easier to clean than carpeting whether a dog is involved or not. A friend of mine has a father who is allergic to dogs and after visiting her and staying in her house with two dogs (one of whom was a heavy shedder) and hardwood floors he went home and ripped up the carpet in his own bedroom because his allergies were so much BETTER at her house with two dogs than they were at his own home. If he has access to most of the house, maybe talk to your husband about restricting his access a little more. When my friend visits her parents, her dogs are only allowed in certain rooms in the house (none of which have carpeting). It does take a little training, but you can boundary train a dog not to go into certain rooms (at least while you are home). Talk about kids. Personally I think you're being rediculous about the whole kid thing...if the dog is trained and the kids are supervised there's absolutly no reason why he can't be around kids and trust me kids are going to get into things that are FAR worse than a little dog hair. Talk to your hubby about picking up some of the cleaning responsibilities due to the dog hair. He's got a lab mix...they shed a lot and there isn't a whole lot you can do about it (make sure he's getting a high quality diet [not some crap in a bag from the grocery store], brush often, and maybe supplement with vitamin E). This means vacuuming/sweeping often. I have two german shepherds (also HEAVY shedders) and ideally I vacuum every other day to keep the dog hair under control...it doesn't take long, I usually do it in the morning before I go to work.



You agreed to living with this dog for the rest of his life when you agreed to marrying your husband. Now you and your hubby need to sit down and make it work. This will mean that you have to compromise on some things, as will he. Decide what about the dog really bothers you the most and work with your husband to find a way to minimize those aspects of the dog.

Answer 11

Okay, first, there's no reason for all these people to get their "fur" up! This is a serious dilema that needs to be dealt with.

You sound like a reasonable person, and I doubt you really hate the dog, but you are not the one who should be caring for the mess it makes. There are additives to put in it's food to help with overly shedding as well as your hubby should be brushing it daily. That's good bonding time he can have with his best buddy! Also, get a supply of baby wipes (sounds like you'll need them soon anyway) and after brushing maybe you can wipe him down to eliminate any smell...this will help you two bond a bit more as well...or you can delegate that as part of the grooming for your husband. If you put up boundaries for your husband and the dog in a nice, calm way I believe you will all get along a lot better and by the time your baby comes, the house will be a lot cleaner and less smelly until those diapers start piling up! lol GOOD LUCK

Answer 12

No, it is NOT possible. The dog was in his life before you were. That's not to say he loves the dog more than he does you, but the dog is part of his family and WAS his family before you entered the picture. The problem you mention with the dog hair can be helped greatly by brushing. I have a dog who sheds badly, but I brush him daily and that takes care of a lot of it.. As far as kids go, it's good for kids to be exposed to animals because it's been shown they develop fewer allergies because of it. I think the best thing you can do is explain to your husband (nicely) how you feel and see what the two of you can do together to make life more hair-free and carefree. Your husband will not readily agree to give up the dog, and you shouldn't ask him to.

Answer 13

sorry honey but if you love your husband you have to except his dog, i know you don't like dogs and think you have really shown a yourself as a good wife in excepting a compromise, you could try putting up baby gates in the door ways so the dog is restricted in where it can go that might be easier for you, if you clean out the bath after you have washed the dog you should not have to bath in dog hair, ask you husband if you can have a room or two that you keep the dog out of maybe the living room so when you have children you have a dog free room and you can relax, but if you ask your husband to get rid of the dog it might really hurt him, dogs are not for everyone maybe suggest that when the dog dies you don't get another one, that way you don't offend your husband but you can have a dog free house it will only be a few years honey, sorry but there is no easy way you can suggest the dog goes and it depends if you are willing to play the dog or me card and except the consequences, you don't sound like a unreasonable person dogs just aren't for you, talk to your husband but if he can't part with the dog then you will just have to be patient, best of luck honey hope it all works out for you

Answer 14

Quote from you. "Because I love my husband, I agreed to take him and his dog for better or for worse."



Well, obviously you didn't mean that, otherwise you would just learn to live with it.

Just try to work something out with him. A lot of people would rather leave their human companion for their animals. Why? Because the animals don't fight back or argue or do things like this. They're there for their humans, while if YOU get mad, you could storm out of there and be ready to rip his face off, making you both highly upset. But guess what? He'll be there to comfort him.



There's no easy way to tell someone to get rid of their animal. Whether it be a dog, a cat, a mouse, and for some people... Even fish.



So pretty much... Just live with it. Take him "for better or for worse," as you said.

Answer 15

Well you took him knowing he had the dog. Learn to deal with the dog or leave. I know no way would I ever put out one of my dogs for anyone. Not even my husband. Then again I would not have married someone who did not love animals as much as I do.



Take the dog to the vet to see if there is a reason it smells. Of course it may well be your imagination just because you don't like the dog.



No it's not possible to tell hubby you want the dog gone. He was there before you so you should be the one to go.

Answer 16

Ah you dont have to get rid of the dog, make your husband clean up daily. Its his responsibility to clean up. It might be easier to train the dog to do it himself though. babies sound very important to you. I love dogs but a babies health comes first. tell your husband how you feel , that you have reservations about having kids with him because of the state the dog has the place in (not the dogs fault though).

Answer 17

Can you get any more selfish???



You knew when you married that there was a dog involved in your relationship, and now you want to ask your husband to get rid of it???? How would you react if your husband asked you to get rid of something you treasure knowing when he married you, you had it?



Either learn to deal with it or try and talk to your husband. Putting him outside permanent will not work either because now you are isolating him from his pack.



Just because you are not a dog person does not mean your husband has to get rid of something he loves that was there before you.



A good vacuum and cleaning will get rid of must dog hair....and if the dog is healthy and is normally an indoor dog and groomed regularly, they do not smell icky...

Answer 18

i would just put it up with it...



dog is mans best friend... and if you go and tell man to get rid of his bestfriend... he may just kick you to the curb...



maybe work out something that suits you both... maybe put pooch outside a little more... and make him clean the carpets and vacuum up the hair... :)

good luck hope you work things out..

Answer 19

You knew he had the dog before you got married, so deal with it. He probably loves the dog. And I'm sure the dog gives him a lot less grief.

Answer 20

Is the Dogs last name Chapman? cuz my wife said Beth wont be too happy...

Answer 21

God you're awful. A little dog hair isn't going to hurt anyone.



You can't tell him without hurting him. I get livid when someone tells me I have too many cats or complains about the fur in my home. You tell him that and he's going to get upset.



Any normal animal lover views their pets as their "fur" children. I'd do anything for my cats and if my boyfriend told me it was either me or the cats, I'd keep my cats.



Fur is just a normal part of my life, too bad you can't get used to it. I have to vacuum once or twice a day to keep it down in my home. Perhaps you should start that up, and get some of that sprinkle stuff to make the carpet smell like flowers.



edit:

To the person that went on about treating animals like children is a dis-service. You misinturrpurted my comment. I agree with what you're saying. What I mean is I love my cats and would do anything for them, like I would my children. I don't spoil them, dress them up, etc. =P I know they're cats lol







Any back on topic, doesn't matter if you were their first. It's HIS dog. Get used to it and find a solution. Don't be so friggin' selfish. It's painful to your partner and just horrible. Have him do the housework that his dog creates, but don't force him to get rid of someone he loves just because a little fur.





Lordie, I can't believe you take offense to what I said! Get over it. I can't stand people like you, that doesn't mean I don't have human friends. Learn to compromise with your husband instead of making desicons and trying to find away to force it on him.

Answer 22

super long link will not work... but i like long and also short..... but everyone looks different along with different styles of hair. some individuals look better short others look better long

Answer 23

Why is this Big Dog indoors? He needs a secure spot outside with his own doghoouse...you can't ask your husband to get rid of a Beloved Pet...animals are a huge part of family...but he may put him outside where he belongs. The only time our German Shepard comes in is when it is very cold or very hot...all the rest of the time she is outside.

Answer 24

Get him a chained linked fence and do not let him inside. It's as simple as that. But I would not buy a shocking collar because that could possibly injure the dog or give him seizers.

Answer 25

okey first of bad bad match,its not to be mean i say it, but to be realistic



my parents breed dogs, they would never sell to a guy or a gal who had a partner or spouce who didnt also want the dog, simply because that dog is going to be a family member



a dog lover is not happy without dogs, and a dog deserves to have a family and pack that loves him



no you are not a bad person, but he should never have gotten the dog in the first place if he can not live with the compromise of living in a dog free home since you dislike them so much (nothing wrong in it)



but basicaly this is bad descision making on both your parts, if neither of you are willing to and able to compromise on this point and be happy, then this is going to forever more be a gnawing point in your relationship for one of you...which means that sorry to say it you both married the wrong person



love is not enough in a relation, a relation take hard work and compromises, and some compromises are just to big to give for a person to be truly happy, and sad to say in this case it sound like you found one



equal kids play best, that goes for any big things like where to live, religion, kids vs not, pets vs not...etc, anything that makes big differences that either one or both is unwilling to compromise on. Both should make a list of absoloute no's, and if there is but one thing on those lists that dont match, then sorry to say its not a wise descision to engage in a relationship because if its a point neither is willing to compromise over, then you will never truly work out, one of you will end up having to compromise on something that makes them truly unhappy and this will gnaw and gnaw on the relationship



it dont mean either is a bad person at all, but it do mean you aint a match



its not fair on the dogs to be brougth into such a household, if you cant learn to live with and interact with the dogs as family members, and he can not bring himself to give up having dogs



then that relation is not going to work out, sit down talk with him about this as well as figure out if you have any other breaking points that you are so different in that neither will be happy compromising



and if you do, then do whats best for both of you, break up now before you have kids and bring them into the mix as well



love just aint always enough, i know this, i know there are things i could never give up and be happy, one of them is dogs, another is kids, tird is countryside living etc...i know compromising on these will make me misserable, i know it will become a gnawing point i'd end up resenting the other for every time we had a bad point...and because of that i am not willing to put myself or another through the stress and unhappyness that it would cause



because of that i always new head first not heart, i seen so many break up because they didnt evaluate these things first and sooner or later they ended up breaking apart over them (many times after having kids)



and to me thats pointless, find someone who have the same belif, opinion and views as you to the degree that neither have to compromise on something they feel is vital to their happyness...only someone like that can grow into your soulmate



love is not enough to make a relationship work, and if this is a breaking point for the two, then you shouldnt be married, because one of you is going to be unhappy for having to compromising on this point, and more then likely it will turn out to be a child raising problem as well, he will want to teach his kids to love and behave around his dogs, you are scared and wouldnt want the kids around it



sorry hon but this is a bad match, and love wont be enough to keep the two of you happy, dont bring kids into this as well, it wont solve anything, talk to him, but it sounds to me you found a point thats not compromisable over, in which case you even as much as it hurts are best off going different directions so you can both find a partner and lifestyle that will make you happy



i am sorry for the loss, but if he is a true dog lover he can never give up dogs and be happy, and you aint so you can never be around them and be happy, one of you are going to be unhappy and sooner or later that person will get enough, the resentment will build and the relationship will break, if you have kids this will hurt them too



be wise, have some foresigth, be adult about it and responsible, talk it out and if you realise its a breaking point then accept this, do the rigth thing then and dont forse eachother to live a life you dont want, but get a divorse now before anyone else (kids) can get hurt by it too



and really i dont say it to be mean, but to be realistic, i seen it happen far to many times



and the fact of the mather is, if your husband is a true dog lover, dogs to him are like kids, this mean that you migth as well married a guy who had a kid from a previous relationship, and then tried to tell them you didnt like their kid, didnt want it around etc, its a loosing battle hon...and on that i am serious, a good parent will never give up a kid for a new partner, and a true dog lover will never give up their dogs because to them its their kid, and as strong as love can be in a relationship, the love and bond to a kid will always be stronger...no true parent or doglover will ever compromise on this point...if it ever comes down to it (if he is a true dog lover) then you are the one who will have to go, just as if he had a kid you tried to make him give up



so if you cant learn to live with it, then sorry you are out of luck if he is truly a dog lover, because you are not 1st in his life, you are second, and if you get a kid then you will be 3rd (kid, dog, wife)



so put you both out of missery if he really is a dog lover, if he is not and can give up dogs then thats ok and fine, but do not try to forse him to if he really truly doubt its the rigth thing for him, that would be like him telling you he did not want kids (something it sounds like you really want)



if this relation is not ment to be, then accept this, do not accept any more dogs into your life when you dislike tham so much (and you obviously tried to change, tried to like it and accept it but are unable too)



this for you is a the dog or me, tell him and let him make a choise, if you are able to compromise that the curent dog can stay, but no more, and then tell him to think that really through, ask him



can you after this dog, live the rest of your life without dogs and be happy?



tell him to think it through like you have, and then if his answer is no, then you have your answer, the relationship and mariage will never make it...forget it and get the divorse now while you still can maybe be friends about it instead of ending up hating eachother