Question:
Do you think having dogs is better than raising kids?
Do
2012-03-10 04:10:35 UTC
I personally like dogs more than kids and people in general

I'm aware that making such a statement would label me as being abnormal, because it should be my nature, as it is the nature of most social animals, to like my own kind more than any other. But I've never aimed for being normal or average, for the simple reason that the normal or average person will never accomplish anything of significance in their lifetime.

But raising kids, you say, is no easy task, and is significant. And I don't disagree with the first part, that it's no easy task, because I can tell you from what little experience I have in that department that it's not easy. More on that later. As for being significant, well, there are 7 billion people on this planet, so raising as many as 7 kids is no more significant than squeezing 7 drops from an eye dropper into a swimming pool. Especially if they're just going to grow up to be average, like you.

Raising kids is difficult for the simple reason that, unlike most animals, kids can talk. And aside from the cute things they say from time to time, the high majority of what comes out of their mouth is bullshit. Raising kids is difficult because you have to deal with their bullshit.

Sometimes they have friends come over, and just as with adults, the more kids you have, the more bullshit there is. And you reach a point where you just have too much bullshit. But you have to keep dealing with their bullshit. And you can't tell them to just shut the f*** up, because that's not good parenting. Good parenting, as near as I can tell, is finding a way to channel their bullshit, or just dealing with it.

I guess that if you're normal or average, you probably spew a lot of bullshit yourself, so maybe the bullshit that comes out of your kids' mouth doesn't bother you that much. Maybe you're even proud of some of the bullshit your kids say.

But, if you've reached a point in your life where you've just had too much bullshit, a really bad position to be in is in tending to the needs of kids who, unlike you, relish bullshit as much as the air they breathe. Kids are bullshit artists.

Dogs, on the other hand, aren't capable of bullshit, for the simple reason that they can't talk. Sure, they can bark, but even then, they're not attempting to bullshit anyone. They're simply saying something they believe others around them should hear, kind of like an old person who repeats him or herself. That's not bullshit – it's just annoying after a while. And you can learn to ignore it.

I think that even if dogs could talk that they wouldn't attempt to bullshit you. They'd say things like, “I love you!”, and they'd mean it, and without any ulterior motive. Or they might say, “There's another dog, and it's my nature to point out the fact that there's another dog.”

Or they might say, “I'd really like a bite of that steak you're eating”. And if you hated bullshit as much as I do, you'd say, “let me get you a nice juicy steak. You deserve it, because you don't bring more bullshit into my life like all the people around me who are so much smarter than you, who never say anything I haven't heard 1 million times before in one variation or another.”

Dogs never complain about the food you give them. They sit there and eat it with gratitude. Should they happen to spill something, they clean it up. Yet they're the ones who eat on the floor, while children sit at the table and squawk like hens in a chicken house. And had you not witnessed these highly evolved creatures spread their food to almost every area but their mouths, you might have thought that chickens got up on the table and scratched on their plates, explaining the food scattered all over the table.

But, I shouldn't badmouth kids and their bullshit too much, because we need bullshitters. Where would our country be without politicians, who actually get paid for their ability to bullshit?

Oh, that's right. Our country might not be buried in debt. Yet another reason to choose dogs over people.
Nine answers:
Bob
2012-03-10 05:29:11 UTC
Remember this next time you need to call the police, the fireman, or speak to your mailman. Um, call your local German Shepherd and ask him about your insurance policy; or your Pitt Bull to see if you were admitted to the high school course. Call the ShihTzu and order your linguini!! LOL!!!
anonymous
2016-03-13 02:02:34 UTC
I have 4 children none are ever left unsupervised with my dogs they can play ball with my dogs when either myself or my husband is watching they are not allowed to touch the dogs or play with them unless we are there Mine are 1 years old 19 months 6 and 8 so at that age they all need to be supervised the toddlers more so as if left they would annoy the dogs i know that for a fact and would get bitten but i dont have that problem as i watch them appropriate would be stroking a dog talking to the dog maybe allowing them to feed the dog Inaproriate would be pulling the dogs ears tail teasing the dog taking the dog toys away and not giving them back I would have to say that based on the children i have seen around dogs even 16 is to young to be allowed but that is what i have seen could be there are responsible children out there some where but not any i have seen that i would trust with a dog Edit..i have not seen launi s question so now off to find it
Katy[:
2012-03-10 04:40:39 UTC
Overcoming the fact that saying bullshit 50 times lowers the value of every word you wrote, I would like to point out the fact that your statement is very biased, seeing as you don't have children. Plus the fact that this whole thing is very hypocritical, because, at some point in time, you yourself were a child. So did you "spew bullshit" everytime you opened your mouth? If not, then this whole thing was a pointless waste of time to write, because you were talking about children as a whole: past, present, and future. Not just the new generation of kids. If you did, then, once again, you are a hypocrite. So here is the pros for having children.



First off, and most importantly, children, well most children, do not find enjoyment in going number two on the floor. Children sometimes have accidents, but dogs, however, seem to have a secret vendetta against white carpet. Everytime a dog owner finally gets that last stain out, they can always expect to look up and find a fresh pile, just for the simple fact the dog didn't feel like going outside.



Another reason? Okay. Male children do not hump the legs of strangers. Well, not until they are at least teenagers. I have been the victim of an unsuspected hump and run, and let me tell you, it was not fun. It was humiliating. The simple fact that little boys do not make random people's legs a grinding pole shows that humans are dominate over dogs.



My last bit of reasoning is this: Children do not carry fleas. They might have other things, such as germs, but the one thing I cannot STAND is fleas! They are disgusting, and if gone unchecked, can turn your happy home into a parasite ridden havoc hole, resulting in exterminator costs and having to replace practically everything.



I hope you maybe saw the light of why children are better than dogs. Don't get me wrong, I love dogs with all my heart, but to me, but kids could never be replaced.
canadiangirl6
2012-03-10 04:43:46 UTC
dogs - love you unconditionally, plenty of them need a good home, but they often SHED and bring in mud on their paws, bug your guests (because they are SO excited), and your family doesn't assume you are bringing them with you for the holidays (rather, they assume you are keeping your dog at home...)

kids - more work, 20 years of your life raising them will be a blurr, but they tend to outlive dogs, are able to have a conversation with you, are able to remember its mother's day, etc. they really can't be compared ... children offer something TOTALLY different than pets do (and I love my pets!!). Why not both? The right dog will be a blessing to both you and a child.
Jesse
2012-03-10 04:17:22 UTC
I didn't read every word of your rant.



Which is exactly what this is.



As far as dogs being better than raising kids? That is simply up to the individual. And many people do both.
Mattie
2012-03-10 04:27:06 UTC
I guess you were one of those children :-) I did not read everything you wrote. However, remember that each to their own. I have both and like both.
The duggazoidanator
2012-03-10 04:27:40 UTC
Good luck with giving birth to dogs
Fionnabhair
2012-03-10 08:20:49 UTC
Trying so so hard to be unique and coming up so so short...
Danny
2012-03-10 04:19:02 UTC
http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/154912


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