Finally bringing my dog up to Kansas to live with me, my boyfriend's dog, and my currently unborn child...?

Question

I got my dog (to this day i think of her a the love of my life) in the middle of January when I was 17. I am now within two weeks of my 21rst birthday, which makes her my 3 1/2 year companion. This past November, though, due to some not-so-great situations (admitedly some stupid stuff i did) I found myself nolonger a welcome inhabitant of my parents' house in Florida and, without any other place to go, moved up to Kansas to live with a friend of mine who said he'd help me get on my feet. The catch? I couldn't immdiately get my dog (Boo) up here with me. It really turned out for the better, because January of this year into April were entirely bad (one of our roommates commited suicide, and this pushed my friend to want to live alone for "a while" leaving me effectively homeless, and about the end of February I took a pregnancy test and found out that my guy was officialy a douche-bag and had pretty much put me out on the street pregnant, though neither of us knew and by then i'd found a place to stay that i could afford. he bucked up, though, and the first week of april i wound up moving back in with him mostly so i could lessen my no-day-of-ever load of work. now we're together as a couple and doing just fine all things considered) and she's been through enough unstable living situations with me. So, for the last 8months she's been with my parents, spending more time outside than I'd like her to have to (sleeps in a crate in the house, though, so i guess i shouldn't complain too much.)

Well, I'm finally getting to go down for a two week vacation, and with the combined efforts of my boyfriend and family, she'll be coming back up with me. The only things that worry me are 1) My boyfriend's dog. She's a GREAT lab, and good with dogs that are smaller than her (Boo is a papillon, so def smaller) so I'm not worried about them getting along, just how Boo's gonna take it that I left her and got another dog. Probably not gonna be a big deal at all, but still a concern of mine. 2) My boyfriend himself. He and Boo have met, and he does NOT like her yappy-ness. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body, she's just loud and excitable, but I'm worried that his heavier-than-my-own hand of discipline might make her very insecure. I have the patience of a saint for my dog, but I don't expect anyone else to. Are there any ways of training the bark out of her, or at least teaching when enough is enough? Somehow I got her to the point where I can put my finger to my lips and she'll stop for me, but I doubt my boyfriend will have that skill and I can't always be around.

3) I'm pregnant. I don't want anyone to try to tell me that dogs won't know the difference. The day after John brought Lexi (my boyfriend and his dog, respectively) home I came in the house, sat down on the couch and, while petting her, she very forcefully nudged my belly. She's for reasons unseen more gentle with me, and never jumps at me. I'll give it that this dog is creepy-smart (have you ever had a dog tell the "pull my finger" joke to you, fart and all? she's done it) but it's an instinct thing that lets them know. Boo has been my baby since the day I brought her home, she sleeps with me and has been known to get between me and John while we were charing the bed, no matter how close we were (she'd literally lay on top of us while we were spooning, that way if we shifted apart even for a second she'd fall between us) and I'm worried about how she'll act with her mommy having a real baby. It's my biggest concern, that I left her for a long time and now she's not going to be the center of my world even once she's near me again. She gets jealous, and the only two times she has EVER snarled and gotten mad were when another dog was messing with me while I was asleep. For a dog that's nearing 4years old, I think that says something. I know that I couldn't sit down and explain it to her ("Boo, I didn't plan this, but you're fixin' to have a baby brother!" i don't think that would work...) but I wonder if showering her with treats and affection might make it easier? I'm probably worried over nothing, but hearing that might make me feel better...

Thank you in advance for your input.

Answer 1

Paps bark but they can be trained not to with some patience. Giving the dog a job will help. Paps are very trainable and love to work. Plus this will give her the discipline to accept the baby, the changes as well as the new dog in the household. Don't allow her on the bed. She should not be allowed to get between you and your bf. Either crate her or train her to lay on her own bed at night. Dogs can be trained not to be the center of attention. In fact it is better if they aren't the center of attention. A book that you might want to check out at your library is "The Dog Listener" by Jan Fennell. You also might want to look into NILIF training too. Don't shower her with treats and affection as that will make her even more the center of attention. She needs to learn to deal if you are going to have her live with you. You need to get this dog trained before the baby comes. Once the baby comes, you will be very busy. Once your baby is born, he will be the love of your life or it should be. Your dog needs to learn now that she cannot be the center of attention.

Answer 2

so in other words your dog is spoiled and yappy(she is not the love of your life ffs) and you think spoiling her even MORE is going to make the situation better?



Despite what you call heavy handed I am more than sure your BF's dog is a hell of a lot more polite and behaved than your dog is.



I can tell you right now IF you bring your old dog up things will and NEED to change. The first being YOU. She is a dog and should be treated as such, the majority of these issues could have been avoided simply by treating her as a dog and not your baby, center of your world etc.



Look up NILF training or consider leaving her with your parents. Yes paps are a vocal breed that DOESN'T excuse 80-90% of what she more than likely does that is NOT breed related and more of a training issue.





"but other than her yapping she doesn't have any undesirable habits (she doesn't steal food off the table or pee in the house or beg after you've told her not to)." - the hell she doesn't.



She is POSSESSIVE - "has been known to get between me and John while we were charing the bed, no matter how close we were (she'd literally lay on top of us while we were spooning, that way if we shifted apart even for a second she'd fall between us) "



"For a dog that's nearing 4years old, I think that says something." yeah untrained and spoiled.





"My pregnancy is impotant, but why does a new responsobility negate an old one?" It doesn't BUT your child can and will outrank her. And if you think for one second spoiling her will make her acceptance of the new situation AND the baby will help you are setting yourself up for trouble.



"She may be taken care of on her psysical needs, but my parents will even tell you that she's not happy since I left." Well yeah. The one the coddles her is not around. Of course she's going to miss the one who lets her get away with murder.



And yes you are too soft with your dog. A dog has NO business forcing itself between its owner and someone else. Your dog CANNOT continue the be #1 in your life and the sooner you get that and revise your training strategy the better off EVERYONE will be. Therefore she is NOT the love of her life because you cannot put her before everyone else especially your own child and expect things to work.

Answer 3

like everyone else said you need to call the police and spca. if your bf thinks he needs to wait he needs to realize that the longer you keep your mouths shut the more of a part of this you become. trust me you can get in a lot of trouble for being a witness to both of these situations and not saying anything. even if this causes a problem with your bf you have to do the right thing, some people are just distgusting human beings and need to be put in place. i hate it when people get dogs or have kids and dont take responsibility for their actions. tell the police what you just posted and please do it now as in this second today and stop being afraid. this doesnt sound like a mild case at all and needs to be controlled. your roomates are lucky im not their neighbor. also if your bf gets mad about this hes also not a respectable person at all.

Answer 4

well its a tough situation for sure.



if your boyfriend is having a hard time dealing with a small dog that barks, he's going to have a really hard time with a crying baby...



explain to your boyfriend that his "heavy hand" approach isn't going to work with YOUR dog. you love your dog, and raised your dog the way you wanted to, he doesn't need to step in with his methods. a possible way you could make her stop barking is simple positive reward training. you could get a clicker (of course go through the steps to make her know that a click means "good girl!") give her a stop barking command, like "shhh" or "quiet!" and when she stops barking, click, give her a treat. it might take some time since she's an older dog, but its worth a try.



how the two dogs are going to react to each other is hard to say til it actually happens unfortunately.. they may be best of friends, or hate each other. you mentioned your dog gets a little jealous, that can be a problem, but again, a trainer may have ideas about how to handle it.

i'm sure your little dog will enjoy having you back.. but if your parents gave her minimal attention and just gave her basic food/water/shelter kinda treatment, some behavior problems might show up. being loved by someone with their whole heart, then having nothing emotionally wise is hard on a dog.



the baby coming is another thing that you'll have to work on when the baby arrives. if its a concern about how she'll react to the noises, possibly get a lifelike baby doll? one that cries, and coos and does all the stuff a baby does. carry it around, put it on your lap while your sitting, do all the normal things you would do with a baby... seems silly, but it may give your dog a chance to get used to the idea of something little around that makes noises and is the center of your attention some of the time. just make sure neither of the dogs start playing with the toy (of course)



its going to take time and work... and with the stress of a baby on the way, and a dog that barks, and a boyfriend that doesn't like yapping dogs.. it may get to be too much. try to be prepared for anything... including possibly finding your dog a new home that will love her as much as you do.

Answer 5

sorry, couldnt read your life story...after a minute all I could see was blah, blah, blah, blahh!





People all the time have babies, and multiple dogs ..it takes some work to be harmonious..but it can be done.

Answer 6

I think the most important for now is the pregnancy since you have another choice for your dog to lve happy for a while. When the baby born, its dog's instinct to also take care little bby.