Absolutely not--what you've just described are appropriate, responsible behaviors. Frankly, I visited two breeders in search of a dog and because the breeder didn't do some of the things you mentioned (one indicated I could take any puppy in the litter not already on hold, another said I sounded like a good guy and there was no need to check on my references) I walked away.
1. Unless you're talking about a serious breeder picking out a puppy or a veteran performance handler, a good breeder can always pick out the most appropriate puppy. You should never pick out a puppy from a litter because "it picked us" or "it came to me." Those are actually potential problem identifiers for puppies. All dogs have their own individual personalities and quirks. A good breeder will know that litter well by the time they hit the age where someone can at least visit to make some choices.
I'm not just talking theory here. Our current dog we did not pick out. I hired a respected breeder and dog evaluator to make the selection. The original breeder and I met, we talked several times, our references were checked. But when it came time to select among the litter, I had a second breeder step in, she did a Volhard temperament test of the remaining pups, picked the one she thought was best for us with agility (and this also matched one of the two options the original breeder felt was a fit out of the remaining 4 puppies). I didn't see a picture of puppy until a $500 deposit had already been made.
2. I know of three instances that have been documented of individuals who have been prohibited from owning dogs in one jurisdiction or state (either because they engaged in dog fighting, were arrested for dog abuse, or sold dogs off to labs for testing) who misrepresented who they were and approached other breeders in other states/jurisdictions to get dogs.
3. How do I tell if I'm getting a good puppy? One of the standards is if it's a really good breeder. How can I tell if the breeder is a really good breeder? I look for the following things:
--the breeder does temperament tests (the Volhard or some other).
--the breeder doesn't sell to just anyone but will refuse to sell and does ask for references and does check them.
--the breeder does know the differences in the litter and does NOT make the entire litter available, first come-first served, to just anyone. A reputable breeder can tell that some dogs will flourish only in a performance home or some dogs will be terrible at performance or others have bad structure and should never be bred but will make a good pet or some dogs are wonderful but won't work with a first-time dog owner or inexperienced handler.
If someone thinks that this is "full of themselves" than go to a shelter. There are plenty of great dogs there just begging for a chance to give their love to someone.