Question:
I miss my dog so much that I can't think about buying another. Any advice?
2008-02-04 13:28:07 UTC
I lost my dog last year in March. He was 11 years old and the best dog in the world. I'm not all silly and weepy about it generally but I always thought I'd have another dog at some point once he was gone but I can't even think about it because I just keep thinking that the next dog I have won't be a patch on my old pal.

What can I do to get over this silliness?
44 answers:
millypeed my choccie Lab
2008-02-04 13:44:36 UTC
I thought I wouldn't be able to get another dog after I lost my Lab to cancer, but my husband made me get another, he said that if I didn't I would have a breakdown, I got Amy another yellow Lab, she helped me with my grieving and helped fill the gap that Molly left, I have since got a chocolate Lab and she reminds me so much of Molly, she follows me everywhere and is always wanting cuddles, they will never replace her but they have helped me cope with her loss, the only trouble is, I know one day I will have to go through it again with these two, but the pleasure they bring me while they are here is worth the pain when they have gone, as they say, better to have loved and lost then never to have loved.

I hope one day you feel ready to let another dog into your heart and share your life.
?
2016-05-24 13:58:55 UTC
Definately read "Cesar's Way" by Cesar Millan the star of the National Geographic Channel's "The Dog Whisperer". It is a must read for any responsible dog owner! Also, make sure that you have thoroghly researched the specific breed you are wanting. Make sure the breed will be a good fit for you. (example: if you are a highly energetic person that loves exercise and being outdoors then an austrailian shephard maybe a good match, but if you aren't the most energetic person and likes to "just chill", then a calmer, more mellow dog would be a better fit.) But keep in mind that any breed you get will still need his exercise and will need to be walked a MINIMUM of 30 minutes a day! Once you have chosen the perfect match for you then bring that little puppy home! I think the number one frustration of new dog owners is potty training! Little puppies have small bladders! They cannot hold it in and must be let outside very often. When my boys were puppies they were let out at least every two hours, sometimes even that was pushing it. Also, I always kept my eye on them whenever they were running around the house. That way if they do have an accident I can correct the behavior immediately. Also, sometimes a puppy will have a hard time sleeping at night. There might be a lot of crying and howling in the evening. So be prepared! Puppies also like to chew on things! If you don't want your stuff destroyed then make sure that you have everything out of reach for your puppy. If he can reach it he will chew it! The best thing I can recommend for that is to get rawhide chew sticks or bones. (don't give the puppy real bones, this could cause choking or even tears in the puppy's stomach lining from the splintered bones). My each of my boys alway had a rawhide chewie at all times when they were puppies. This taught them that the only appropriate things for them to chew on are the chewies! Between the two of them I only had one pair of shoes chewed up. (and thankfully they were a cheap pair!) Besides that good luck with your new puppy. Bringing a dog into your life does add a lot of responsibility but it is so very rewarding too!
pugbug
2008-02-04 17:06:30 UTC
It's not silliness. You loved your dog and at this point can't even consider trying to find another. You don't ever want to go through that feeling of loss and sadness ever again. You have a grieving process you'll go through. Eleven years is a long time to become attached to a dog. You see them everyday and they're always so happy to see you. How could you ever think of trying to replace a dog like that? You'll never find another one.



However, there will come a time when you accidently see another that you'll just have to have. Don't feel guilty about it - your dog always wanted you happy and would like to see you happy again. The dog won't be the same or even come close to the one you just lost ... it will be different, have a different personality but will love you so so much and be your life long friend. The puppy will melt his way into your heart and you'll wonder how you ever waited so long to find another. It won't be because you love your first any less ... you'll realize you can love the new puppy just as much as the last and the best thing is that you've just added even more love to your life!
angels4siberians
2008-02-04 13:34:14 UTC
This is not silly and everyone's time for grief is different. Some people are ready in a few day and sometimes not for 2-3 yrs. One way to honor your old friend's memory would be to volunteer with a local shelter or foster for a rescue group. This might give you a chance to get to know other dogs without making a comparison and should you find that perfect companion in the process, you will know it your heart! Try these 2 sites and see if they have anything that will help: chancespot.org and petloss.com I wish more people loved their animals this much and then I wouldn't always have more rescues looking for new homes than is sane. BOL!
Ross A
2008-02-04 13:47:49 UTC
Its not silliness you need to get over. You're commiting your next 10-15 years to this animal and every dog has its own personallity. In my experience bitches give the most compasion and are more sensitive to their owners moods (I've had two dogs and one ***** (Hmm thank yahoo! from now own please read betch as the the female form of dog). Although no animal can replace your beloved dog, my advice would be to think about the benefits of betch. You could (only if you choose) have the joy of bringing puppies into the world, and you can always keep 1or two of them so you wont ever feel the same sadness of lossing such a great friend ever again -they will live on in their children.
maggy_dnks
2008-02-04 13:49:53 UTC
I lost my 13 1/2 year old September before last! I was heartbroken he was the first dog I had ever had, I didnt want to get another one as I knew I could never replace him! but my family talked me in to getting another little puppy and he is a joy! he isnt my other little dog he has his own personality, some of the things he does we laugh at and say our Tim did that! but he does things that Tim didnt do they are different but the same if you know what I mean? I will never forget my first little dog and I dont want to. So when you feel you can go and look at another .I know my life wouldnt be the as happy without one.And I have a big Family.
micheypoo
2008-02-04 13:37:53 UTC
I don't think it is about replacing the one you have lost - I think one of our biggest fears is that we feel as if we're forgetting what we had by "replacing" them with something new.

But is isn't about that - a new dog signifies something different, something new.

Take the opportunity to remember how much you loved your dog, and put that energy into loving another (not the same way because it may never be the same way) but in a new way.



By giving a dog a new home, and by providing that love you know you can provide would bring nothing but joy into your life. Maybe this is exactly what you need?
Elijah C
2008-02-05 06:39:31 UTC
I lost my beloved girl last November. Within 30 mins of entering the vets she was gone. I thought we would go in get some medication and be going home. I miss her badly still. We had to think about our other girl (her grandaughter) who is seven and cannot really leave on her own as she barks and howls for hours on end. We spoke with the breeder and she let one of her other kennel dogs come to us before her 3rd and last litter to keep our other girl company. We got the younster just over a week after the old girl had left us.



Each dog is different in character and personality and I would suggest you go out and get another dog. I found that having one dog at home at first certainly helped me and them getting a second certainly sorted out me having no time to mope around. I still miss my girl and she will always be my special mate regardless of other dogs Imay have over the years.
Kristi
2008-02-04 13:38:35 UTC
Well maybe try a cat (if you like cats). But remember the "new" dog won't make up for the old dog, nor Will a cat.



Just treat the new dog or cat with love and all that, how you did with the previous dog, and the dog or cat will adore you.



I lost my kitty last month and it is heartbreaking, and i don't know when i will be able to get another kitty again. I am sorry for your loss.
austinville
2008-02-04 13:47:48 UTC
Over the years, I've had many dogs. After the death of each, I promised myself I wouldn't get another. Eventually (at different lengths of time) I chose to get another.......

None of them "are a patch on my old pal" - but each has become and old pal him/herself. It's not silly!

You'll know when the time is right. Meanwhile, why not volunteer at a local shelter or if there isn't one locally - how about volunteering at the local vets office (at either place you could walk dogs and give them a better day!)

You will know when - or IF - the time is right.

My heart goes out to you at your loss. A four-legged friend is the best kind of friend indeed!
2008-02-07 12:06:27 UTC
Rainbow Bridge



Somewhere just this side of heaven is Rainbow Bridge. When the dogs pass they go to play in lovely green fields, where the sun always shines and there are streams to splash about in and lots of other dogs to run around with. The happiness is never ending.

One day a dog playing in the grass with his friends stops and stares into the distance. He has seen someone and stares intently at this figure. He knows this person and when they approach he runs and jumps and barks with absolute joy. Then together they turn and walk over Rainbow Bridge....x
CoffeeCupDobie
2008-02-04 14:06:15 UTC
Ok first it is not silly. You are greiving, and you need to. You had a best friend for 11years. You watched him grow, at go through everything with him. You can be sad.

When it comes to getting a new pal, you will know when it is the right time to get one. Only you will know.

Dont let anyone tell you that you are or to just get over it. It is not silly either.

The next dog will not be a close to your old pal either. He/she will be new. Just remember, it is also exciting to have a new pal. But when you are ready.



Good luck
GEORGE L
2008-02-04 14:56:12 UTC
Can it be that perhaps deep inside you know the answer to this question, but you need someone to reassure you that it's the right decision? You aren't being silly, and of course the next dog will be different. You're missing out on a lot the longer you wait. Go on, you know you want it!
Selina S
2008-02-04 13:40:06 UTC
I understand how you feel bc I lost my dog of 12 years a couple of weeks ago. I did cry bc she slept with me and was always around so it was hard to adjust. I however just recently got a dog that needed a home and although i sometimes compare and wish she acted like my old dog..this new one is quickly finding a place in my heart. However, if you are not ready it would not be fair to the new dog.
2008-02-05 09:02:31 UTC
You're not being silly. I lost my dog 18 months ago and I still miss him every day. My OH wanted another dog and I went along with it. Every one told me it would be fine once the puppy arrived. He's a lovely pup but I just feel guilty that I don't love him as much and we haven't bonded properly. Give yourself as much time as you need. You'll know when its the right time.
2008-02-04 13:38:01 UTC
I've been there twice in 5 years and only last night I had nightmares about the last dog I lost. I can only say that you always have a little place in your heart for another waggy tail - and eventually that little one takes over your heart 100%. You never forget your lost friends - but you'll love another just as much, and they'll be your best friend too.
Tammy
2008-02-04 13:36:17 UTC
You are not being silly sweetheart. I could not face having another dog after I lost my German Shepherd. I did not have a dog for thirteen years and would never have had one, but I stumbled across another German Shepherd who was being so badly abused I could not leave her. She turned out to be very like my other dog in a lot of ways, but I never compared them. She is now my best friend and I cannot imagine life without her. In time you might feel ready to have another one, but give yourself time to grieve for the boy you lost. Good luck.
tazzmainiandevils
2008-02-04 13:34:18 UTC
I think it's good that you're not trying to replace him with another dog. Sound like you're ready to have a new friend though. As you know, there are so many pets on death row everyday just full of love and friendship. Maybe look for one that is very different than your last pet. You and you're new pet will grow together and form your own strong bond over the years. Think of it of saving a life and gaining a new buddy!
doglover
2008-02-05 02:40:14 UTC
No dog will ever be close to being anything like your old dog, they were possibly the most loving and sweetest dog but they is another dog out there that would love to have you has their owner, one that has its own personality and will fill the void that the old dog left.

It will never replace your old dog but will help you overcome the loss that you feel. Go and check out some of the dog homes for your next companion. I am sure the perfect dog is just waiting for you.

Good luck
2008-02-05 09:08:16 UTC
Go for a different type of dog and that way you will not be able to compare with your last one. We lost two golden retrievers in six months so now we have a cairn terrier pup.

The difference in character is so different that you could not compare, besides with a pup you don't have time to make the comparison. It will do you the world of good.
firebobby
2008-02-04 13:36:35 UTC
It`s not silly. A friend of ours has had dogs for the twenty years we have known her, at one time she had 4 together. Last year she had to have her 7 year old golden lab put to sleep, due to cancer, and although she loves our dog and treats him like she would her own( he always gets a treat when we visit and can get on the settee) she cannot bring herself to have another dog of her own.

She says that no other dog could replace her Goldie.
Mazzz ☼
2008-02-04 16:49:06 UTC
losing a much loved dog is heartbreaking and you are never ever going to be able to replace him he was a one off unique even if you have the same breed he will not be like the dog you had. I find that getting over the loss of a dog is easier when you have another dog as it feels like something is missing when you do not have a dog. your next dog will not replace your old pal he or she will be different but just as lovely in their own special way try not to compare them to your old pal they are not, they are your new pal, they will bring you joy in the same way your old boy did, allow yourself the privilege of being a dog owner again try not to find a dog who looks too much like the old one so you are less likely to want to compare dogs like children are very different but all are lovely
nonameblonde
2008-02-04 13:42:01 UTC
It is not silly. We put our German Shepherd (Nicki) down just recently and then had to put our Corgi (Cody) down too. Both in the same year. Nick was 13 and Cody was 16. I think Cody couldn't last without Nick. They are part of the family. We love them like we love our family members. Cut yourself a break...you're a dog lover. You deserve to go thru your time of feeling sad for awhile. I can't imagine replacing them but I would like to get another dog one day. Now is not the right time though.



Edit: Awww...Ruby is making me cry.
CARAMAC
2008-02-04 16:46:58 UTC
You'll never replace you're friend, no matter how hard you try, as it is with a person, you just have to 'come to terms with your loss'... but when you're ready, to have another, if that's what you decide upon, you will know.



When I lost my little girl.. ( a minature border collie), she was 16 years old, I was heartbroken, I vowed never to go through that experience again.



One day, I met a man who said that it was animal owners like me who were scarce,......

those that have given and could give a loving home to a pet, but because of the grief through losing, they refused to allow themselves to go through that emotion again.



This meant that uncaring animal owners, were left to pick up and destroy as they liked, as many abandoned, young or unwanted pets, and this was why animal abuse was on the increase.



It just made me think and realise that I did have so much to give, and shortly after I bought two beautiful 'twin' toy poodles, who I adore.



a friend x
Ysanne
2008-02-04 14:03:46 UTC
When I lost my old dog I couldn't bare to think of getting another one of his breed. I knew I would always compare.

What I did do though, I went to another breed rescue group and adopted an older girl who had been abused and abandoned. It was the BEST thing I ever did, she helped me so much and I helped her.

Maybe you could think about rescuing a dog that needs you?
~bRiT~
2008-02-04 13:40:32 UTC
Get another dog, i was in the same shoes you are, and i finally got another dog and it helped so much! go to a shelter and adopt, those are the best dogs, but try to get a puppy so you know it is going to be raised right
leepato1970
2008-02-04 13:35:16 UTC
Just take the plunge and get a new dog and maybe get a different one so you dont compare so much. It will be hard just like it is for Jack now but keep your head up chuck you will love the new one just as much but in a different way.
Diminished
2008-02-04 13:33:48 UTC
The best thing to do is go to a shelter and maybe foster an abandonned animal for a while. This will make you feel better and may spark your interest in owning again.



Oh and good luck with the being deceased problem ;)
Stacy
2008-02-04 13:32:49 UTC
Time is the only thing that works. It took my MIL three years to be able to get another OES after hers had to be put down. She cried the first five times she saw our OES puppy. But now she has one of her own and is happy as ever, although she will always miss her other dog.
2008-02-04 13:36:12 UTC
u cant i feel for u my best friend have losted her dog as will she cant get over it she cries everyday thinking about her dog she had had about 10 years she is always waiting for her to came back. I'm sorry for u!!!!!!!!!! i have a puppy called daisy and if she went missing i would never get over it she means the world to (she is the best dog as well my dog is clever she knows everything) I'm sorry for you lost.
2bzy
2008-02-04 13:35:14 UTC
Go to a shelter and visit the dogs there. If you volunteer to walk them, etc., you can get to know them, and maybe you'll find one that can fill up that empty space your old pal left. And you'll be doing a good thing for some animals that need you.
2008-02-04 13:40:28 UTC
I understand that you miss your baby. I'm very sorry you lost him.



But if you really want another dog, you can't adopt one and continue comparing it to your previous dog. It's a whole new doggy, not a better one, or a worse one, just a new one.



You should adopt again, but with a fresh outlook.
lady_tiko
2008-02-04 13:33:29 UTC
You are a great person to give a great home to a sheltered dog. Think how many wonderful years you gave to your dog and how many wonderful years he gave you, now pass that love onto another wonderful pet to love you back again.
Runs with Scissors
2008-02-04 13:52:28 UTC
It's not silliness. It's a deep seated emotion. Your dog wasn't just a "dog", he was a friend, a companion. He gave you unconditional love. The thing about our dogs, is that they don't care who we are or what we do, they love us anyway!
deltadawn
2008-02-04 13:38:17 UTC
ONLY WAY is to NOT compare.

Just go to a pound/shelter/rescue org. and bond with a loving dog there.

WITH the objective to FILL the VOID and start anew, giving a permanent, attentive, loving home to a loyal grateful dog.

You will be rewarded tenfolds.

Gd. luck.
t j
2008-02-05 00:25:33 UTC
whatever dog u get wont replace him, you will have good memories of him, a new dog will give you he love and companion ship that you get from a pet, and you ll gather more memories with it, some similar but different,go for it. find another four legged friend.
2008-02-04 14:45:35 UTC
I think that you have to think about your 11 year old dog , a puppy agaIN RUNNING around doggy heaven, he'd want you to be happy, and to have another friend
yorkiefamily2001
2008-02-05 12:54:15 UTC
time is the only healer grieif takes a long time and there is no cure for that, you are grieving when my yorkie boy died in 2004 i did get another yorkie girl in dec 2004 and it helped a lot some people cannot get another have left mty favourite poem lend me a pup

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/teresa.bechelli/rainbowbridge/tribute2/index.htm
Bestie
2008-02-04 13:36:03 UTC
Time will heal it. Don't get a new one yet, get over the dead one first. Watch the "Dog Whisperer" instead.
busagirl
2008-02-04 13:38:55 UTC
try looking at it another way - hundreds of dogs need a loving home, you were able to give that to your previous dog, now use that experience to benefit another poor homeless dog with no-one to love them,

- wouldn't yours be proud of you, go on give it a try x
EllieeeRoxannee'♥
2008-02-05 11:44:04 UTC
get anthor and get over the dog tht passed away
Mia ღ AJ ღ Faithy
2008-02-04 13:43:02 UTC
i lost my pup about 3 years ago in august...it took me 2 years...time



time only tells...its okay to be sad...its okay to want to wait...its okay
2008-02-04 13:35:17 UTC
get a cat
2008-02-04 13:32:54 UTC
ask Colin fry or John Edwards


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